Sometimes it seems like elderly people are always angry, and not just because they can’t operate the TV remote. If we’re being honest, TV remotes these days are far too complicated, even for the young and “tech-savvy.” But there’s a reason you smiled at that image as well as the many “old man yells at cloud” memes floating around the internet – angry old people are a real thing.
But why do the elderly become so mean? Problems with physical and mental health that affect cognition frequently also affect behavior. The way that this affects an elderly person’s behavior depends on where in the brain the loss of neurons is happening. Please keep reading.
Why Do Old People Become Cranky?
There are many different things that can lead to behavioral changes in old age. Some of the factors leading to rudeness in old age are:
Hormonal Changes
Beginning around the age of 40 for men and 50 for women, there is a decline in testosterone and estrogen, which can both cause depression and mood swings. While women tend to cry and vent to friends, men mask their depression with anger, leading us to the “get off my lawn!” cry associated with the elderly.
Alzheimer’s Or Dementia
Memory loss and cognitive impairment can undoubtedly cause rage and frustration in seniors, which can result in them acting out in front of others. If you are worried about dementia, talk to your doctor because some of this is fortunately treatable with medication.
Vision Or Hearing Loss
The inability to see or hear as well as they once did is another factor contributing to old people’s irritability. You would be cranky, too, if you had to say, “what?!” every time someone tried to talk to you, or you couldn’t see the hotties in your favorite TV shows continue as before.
Depression
The more change you go through as you age, the more difficult it can be. The loss of loved ones, the inability to drive or take care of oneself, and the loss of one’s home are all situations that frequently affect the elderly and can cause depression.
Anger and emotional outbursts can result from depression. Make an appointment with a doctor right away if you or a loved one is experiencing depression. Aside from other therapies, there are medications that can be helpful.
Tips For Coping With Mean Elderly Parents
Schedule Regular Doctor’s Visits
As we get older, illnesses like malnutrition and dehydration affect us far more severely. According to some research, eating poorly can cause Alzheimer’s to develop more quickly, earlier in life, or at the very least, the disease’s symptoms may worsen.
You might not understand where the demanding behavior is coming from if it seems to suddenly start or fluctuate. Your elderly parent may become angry due to both physical and cognitive issues. To lessen the negative behavior, you might need to treat the illness with a healthy diet, therapy, or medication!
Look For The Trigger Of Bad Behavior
Do you ever wonder how to handle your elderly parents’ difficult behavior?
Do they appear to be indifferent one second and irate or frustrated the next?
Caregiving for difficult elderly parents can be difficult, but it can be useful to look for patterns in their behavior.
Just before their mood changed, what was being talked about? What tasks or responsibilities did you ask them to complete that they couldn’t do on their own?
Knowing what causes undesirable behavior can help you tackle the issue head-on. You have two options: either you start a conversation about it and reach an agreement together, or you can establish ground rules, as we’ll cover below.
Set Ground Rules
We may occasionally find ourselves in uncomfortable, embarrassing, or even dangerous circumstances as a result of dealing with demanding elderly parents. We might discover that our parents are acting inappropriately in front of our kids, making a scene in public, or engaging in abusive behavior at home.
Setting ground rules can assist in helping caregivers deal with difficult elderly parents.
You should consider establishing ground rules that include a strike system and be clear that you will not tolerate this behavior. For instance, you might threaten to do their grocery shopping without them if they make a scene at the store three more times.
Remember that establishing ground rules primarily works when the parent purposefully engages in childish behaviors in order to obtain what they desire.
These demands and guidelines might not register if you’re caring for elderly parents who suffer from dementia or another memory-affecting cognitive disorder. Contact a behavioral specialist who can offer you some guidance in this situation by speaking with your parent’s doctor.
Encourage Exercise And Socialization
Your parent may be acting difficult and demanding because they are depressed or angry about their diminished independence. If they lose some physical capabilities and have their driver’s license suspended, many elderly people have a propensity to become more sedentary and asocial.
Some questions you can ask yourself to diagnose a lack of exercise or socialization in your elderly parents include:
- Does my parent go outside and work out?
- Still, communicating with their friends and neighbors?
- Do they continue to go to church or club events like they used to?
If the answer is a resounding “no,” you may need to intervene.
Exercise and social interaction both help the brain release crucial neurochemicals that are in charge of feelings like happiness, contentment, and more. It might be best to meet up with friends or family for lunch every Saturday and go for a few weekly walks.
Enlist Professional Help
In our experience at Commonwise Home Care, many family caregivers have informed us that, despite their parents’ need for assistance, they do not want their assistance. Especially if neither parent nor child is able to express their emotions fully, this can be upsetting for both parties.
Sometimes it can seem impossible to manage difficult behavior in the elderly, especially your own parent.
The truth is that your parent might be acting inappropriately out of embarrassment or shame. They may be concerned about burdening you because it is not easy for them to see the roles reversed in any way.
If so, it might be time to hire trained caregivers to provide care at home. It can make your parents feel better to have a third party nearby to handle tasks like housekeeping and grooming.
The breakup of a personal relationship is one of the most difficult things for a family caregiver who is taking care of demanding elderly parents. You and your parent might come to the realization that your visits have changed from being social to being necessary, which can result in emotional distress and resentment.
Regaining the relationship you need and deserve can be accomplished by hiring a professional caregiver.
Attention: Seeking Behavior In Elderly Adults
It’s possible that the answer to your question, “Why do seniors act so cruelly?” is simply that they want or need attention. Elderly people might feel lonely, have low self-esteem, or be envious of their social life.
Their desire for attention may come across as anger, just as it might in the case of a young child who is unsure of how to express themselves.
The key is to try to approach dealing with an angry elder from a place of empathy and compassion, even though this is admittedly not always easy. Keep in mind that they aren’t being sourpuss or cruel because they don’t like you or want to offend you.
Be kind and attentive while listening. It’s not fun to get older. Hopefully, you too will grow old at some point, and you will probably want someone to be considerate and caring toward you as well.
